Sorry To Myself.

Wondering why this post is titled as "Sorry To Myself"? I was just woke up from my long nap. Then, I got some sudden feeling in my heart. The guilty feeling. It has been years my parent brought me up till my age now. 23, my memory slowly refresh to all those past moment and I realized I am letting my tears drop with or without reason. Perhaps with reason, I still feeling sorry because it was all cried for others. Now memory retorted back, I'm laughing myself. I had been cried all these few years over people that I thought worth it. But now, everything seem change and those people no longer even look me directly into their eyes. 

Silly of me. I thought there will always hope when you believe it. But, I guess that I took it in the wrong way. Never want to admit that I afraid of hurt. Damn afraid. It is because the pain of hurt is like thousands of needle pinch right into heart. It's bleeding but forever you will never see a drop of blood. Sometimes, I wondered. I could have die for many times if those invisible bleeding become visible. 

Hearing to a song namely "Wo Men Dou Pa Tong" sang by Wilber Pan. It's a very nice and inspired song. This moment of me feeling so embarrassed. Why? Because I have waste my time and tears for people and things that no longer have any changes. So, I should move on for the very first of point. It's just that all this while I'm making myself frozen in the point where I took everything still the same. 

Sighs. This moment.. Future seem blurry and I'm so to graduate soon. How life could be? No one could answer it. So, I should put aside too and focusing on whatever I'm having to gone through now. At least I having a bundle of friends that giving me unlimited support and cheers up my life. 

Sorry to myself. Sorry for making my own life so miserable. I want to explore more happiness in my life. Never want to let myself hang in the air without no direction and don't even want to be sad anymore. I will bury all those past memory into the deep part of my heart. Thanks for used to be the one in my life. 

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